The perpetrator’s story
My name is Stan and I’m now in my mid-40s. When I was 14 years old I abused my sister, who was then eight years old. While she was asleep in bed and I was babysitting, I went upstairs and I touched her. When she woke up I persuaded her to say nothing.
But the following day at school she told a friend, who then told her teacher, and later that day I was arrested. I was questioned by the police and admitted that I had done something, but I didn’t admit the full extent of the abuse. I was eventually charged and convicted. I was given a supervision order but did not undertake any specific work on my offence. I was also taken into care until I was 16.
From that time on, I swear there have been no further sexual offences. I am currently in a long-term relationship with a great woman called Louise. We’ve been living together for six years now. Prior to that I was with Petra for 10 years and we had two children, David and Samantha, who are now 12 and 14.
Louise had a couple of children before she met me – Katy and Peter, who are nine and seven – and she is now seven months pregnant with our first child together. Social Services became involved after the first appointment with the health visitor, and I reluctantly agreed to move out of the home, prior to a risk assessment being completed.
My initial fear was that the people doing the assessment, Phoenix, were going to view me as a ‘paedophile’ and that, whatever I said, the result would be that I was forced into leaving Louise and our family. But to my surprise I found that they were actually normal human beings and that they were prepared to listen to what I had to say, even though at the same time they could be quite challenging towards me. When it came to the intervention, it was hard but I felt that I had finally been given the opportunity to really look at my behaviour towards my sister and to try to understand it. I also felt that having an open discussion about things with Louise helped us both in moving forward into the future.